Home >> Comedy >> How to Tactics on Increasing Girl Scout Cookie Sales
How to Tactics on Increasing Girl Scout Cookie Sales

By: nicolecarson

  Girl Scouts have begun scouring the neighborhoods, some with cookies already in hand, enticing consumers of all ages. Cookie sales have evolved over the years from girls soliciting neighbors, friends and family to girls staking out grocery stores and retail stores throughout the country. Selling has become so competitive that it could be considered a sport. To increase your agility, see the tips below.


Things you will need:
  • Girl Scout uniform
  • Cookie order form
  • Running shoes
  • Energy drink for stamina
  • Wagon
  • Thick skin

Drink a Red bull and then run door-to-door in your neighborhood, all the while keeping an eye out for the competition. They could appear at any minute, attempting to steal your sale.



Ride your bike to all of the coffee shops, grocery stores restaurants within your city limits that offer bulletin board space and post your picture with contact information so absolute strangers can order cookies from you. Pedophiles love cookies!



Post on Facebook a photo of the cookies you are selling to drive sales worldwide. Now relatives and friends of friends will order helping you reach your goal of selling 5,000 boxes.



Pre-order cookies through your troop to beat out other Girl Scouts who don’t have product available immediately. You can pull the cookies in a wagon to build stamina.



Have your parent go undercover as a Scout and work the opposite side of the street, doubling your sales with less foot traffic. Adult sized uniforms can be found online at the Girl Scout website.



Send an order form to work with your parents so that all of their co-workers will order cookies. Attach a threat to do physical harm if they don’t order at least 5 boxes. You can get Scout back up from one of the troops blocking the main entrance at the grocery store around the corner.



If your parents own their own company and have employees, you’ve got leverage! They can influence their employees to purchase a minimum of 10 boxes for job security.



Refrain from directly tripping, pushing or verbally abusing other Scouts. Remember the Girl Scout honor, “As long as I don’t get caught practicing the above tactics, I can wear my vest in pride.”



Tips & Warnings

  • Have your cookie order form with you at all times, you never know when you'll be able to tackle another scout for a cookie sale!


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