With each Valentine’s Day comes an attitude of dread. But, there is something I have learned over the years, that chubby little cherub has no power over me or over what I choose to do on February 14th. While celebrating your love with a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife is a beautiful thing, not everyone has that option. So, I suggest we take back the holiday and use it for an outrageous adventure or as a means to reach out to someone who is truly lonely.
Instructions
Step
1
Keep in mind that V-day is only an annual occurrence, and once the so-called “magical” night has passed, life will go back to business as usual. So enjoy your night, and don’t let that chubby, diaper-wearing Cupid steal your night.
Step
2
If you have decided to acknowledge the day, try to think outside of the box when planning an activity, do something you would normally chicken out on. And if you don’t feel like doing something outrageous, think of the countless lonely people in your neighborhood. Maybe visit an unsuspecting elderly person who has no one left or bring take-out to a recently divorced friend.
Step
3
In the week leading up to V-day, steer clear of friends and/or family that without fail will give you the ol’, “Why don’t you find yourself a nice girl/boy to spend Valentine’s with?” If you aren’t around, they can’t heckle you.
Step
4
Remember that Valentine’s Day is a made up holiday, based on Pagan religion. While it does celebrate the beauty of love and call couples to express themselves with a little more vigor than usual, it has mostly become a commercial feeding ground where companies prey on customers with love themed merchandise.
Step
5
Once you have come to terms with the fact that V-day is really nothing more than a commercial holiday that places a cloud of guilt on un-romantic men, you have two options: ignore the holiday completely and continue life as usual, or make a list of unusual, fun activities to distract yourself.
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Alex and Austin have known each other for ten years -- been engaged for three -- and share not only a deep love for each other but values like compassion and creativity -- not to mention a wicked sense of humor.
I was honored to be asked to come preside at their wedding in Sewanee ... where both of Alex's parents are studying at the School of Theology ... and after organizing pre-marital counseling at-a-distance (thanks, St. Bart's, Atlanta!) and all the many details that make up planning a wedding I headed to the Tennessee mountains for what was very much a "family wedding."
Here are a few photos:
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The "wedding long shot" [photo credit: Brian Russell]
And as great and fun and lovely as all those are, here is arguably my favorite:
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It's the table at the reception where guests were encouraged to pick up a packet of Jordan Almonds with this message attached:
In thanksgiving for your presence with us today, we have made a gift to the Nets for Life program sponsored by Episcopal Relief and Development.
No monogrammed candy dishes or etched candles -- no overpriced wedding memorabilia to stick away in a drawer somewhere and look at every once in awhile and wonder if it's been long enough to send to the thrift shop. Not for this bride and groom.
Instead, a donation for hope and healing ... an outward and visible sign of one of the inward and spiritual graces we prayed for them in the wedding prayers when we said:
Give them such fulfillment of their mutual affection that they may reach out in love and concern for others.
Seems to me that they're already there.
And it seems to me that that -- right there on those Jordan Almonds -- is the essence of why we need more -- not less -- of this kind of love and commitment. And why these words from the homily I preached on Saturday in Sewanee are for me kind of a "Why Marriage Matters Manifesto:"
What we see realized today in Austin and Alex and in this community gathered is nothing less than the corporate face of God’s love. What we are witnessing today is not only the celebration of the love these two fabulous young people have for each other but the most amazing love that God has for all of us – love that is so much wider, broader and more abundant than we can either ask for or imagine.
For the love of God is broader than the measure of the mind. And the heart of the eternal is most wonderfully kind. If our love were but more faithful, we should take Him at his word, And our lives would be thanksgiving, for the goodness of the Lord.
Austin and Alex that are examples to us today of the covenant love between two people which is an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace: of what it is to live into our full humanity as creatures created in the image of the one who’s very essence is love – in the image of the God who created us and sustains us.
Blessed to be a blessing, they help us experience the transformative love of God – blessing us so that we may be a blessing in return and draw others in to be blessed by being part of this community of faith. It is a grand and glorious circle – and it is the work we are called to be about – are privileged to be about as the people of God working with God to make the Garden of Eden grow green again.
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