There are just some people out there who don't deserve their well lived lives- now don't get me wrong. It would be illegal for me to promote murder, and really how fun is that? What you really want to do is ruin the life of that perfect little person. One man's suffering is another's joy.
Instructions
Step
1
Destroy their love life. Attack the heart and the rest will follow. Now the trick is you don't want the person to know you are ruining their life, so you have to use tact. Start sly rumors about the couple. "I hear this..." "Did you know..." "You didn't hear this from me..." Planting the seed of doubt into their boyfriend/girlfriend's head will get you rolling. Make it juicy: everybody loves a good gossip, and who doesn't like hearing about an affair...even if none of it is true.
Step
2
Next is their circle. You have to isolate the person from their friends. I recommend becoming good friends with the person: 1. They will never suspect you are plotting against them and 2. you can get inside information to ruin their existing friendships. Try a three way call. Junior High girls have been using this technique for years- why not you? Once their support system is gone and their love life in tatters they will have no one to lean on but you- their very own frienemy. So make sure they believe that you are truly their closest friend, who they can tell anything too- this will give you all sorts of ammunition.
Step
3
The body is the last of the steps. You must ruin their diet. By making them less attractive, what else will they have? Brains? Who cares? Trade out their nutrition bars for high carb bars. Ensure them that you know all about dieting- "How do you think I got my great body?" Once plumpy is nice and round all that will comfort him/her is a nice tub of ice cream and reruns of romantic comedies.
Step
4
Now that their life is in shambles you must be pretty bored, so...find a new victim. Happy Homewrecking!
Tips & Warnings
Make sure your victim considers you a best friend. You would never want to sabotage someone who might suspect you.
Frienemies are people who pretend to be close friends but are really enemies.
Frienemies are never a good idea. Ruining someones life is mean and karma has a way of coming around.
There are just some people out there who don't deserve their well lived lives- now don't get me wrong. It would be illegal for me to promote murder, and really how fun is that? What you really want to do is ruin the life of that perfect little person. One man's suffering is another's joy.
